16.03.2015

## On Having Problems

Variations on

You have a problem and decide to use regular expressions.

Now you have two problems.

Inspired and partly copied from [1], [2] and [3].

You have a problem and decide to use Java.

Now you have a ProblemFactory.

You have a problem and decide to use Python.

Now you have something that looks, swims and quacks like a problem.

You have a problem and decide to use binary.

Now you have 10 problems.

You have a problem and decide to use floating points.

Now you have 1.00000000000001 problems.

You have a problem and decide to use Apple.

Now you have a shiny problem.

You have a problem and decide to use threads.

Now have a you problem.

You have a problem and decide to use mutexes.

Now you

You have a problem and decide to use LISP.

Now you have a list of problems.

You have a problem and decide to use asynchronous calls.

Now you wait for having a problem.

You have a problem and decide to use Smalltalk.

Now you have a metaproblem.

You have a problem and decide to use an unchecked cast.

Now you have a solution and it is Segmentation Fault.

You have a problem and decide to use JavaScript.

Now you have 3 problems in Firefox, 5 problems in Safari, 2 problems in Chrome, and 11 problems in Internet Explorer.

You have a problem and decide to use a sandbox.

Now you still have a problem but you don't care.

You have a problem and decide to write a Makefile.

Now you know how to make problems.

You have a problem and decide to use anagrams.

Now you have lamb rope.

You have a problem and decide to use Unicode.

��� ��� ���� � �������.

You have a problem and decide to use STL.

Now you have a _Hashtable_iterator<std::pair<const basic_string<char, str::char_traits<char>, std::allocator<char> >, int>, basic_string<char, std::char_traits<char>, std::allocator<char > >...

You have a problem and decide to use pair programming.

Now you have someone else's problem.

You have a problem and decide to google it.

Now you know 31,457 ways to describe your problem and around 15 completely wrong solutions for it.

You have a problem and decide to upgrade to paid version.

Now you have an Ultimate Pro blem.

You have a problem and decide to use Agile.

Now you have an epic problem.

You have a problem and decide to use Haskell.

Now you have a lazy problem.

You have a problem and decide to use Maven.

Now you have a problem snapshot.

You have a problem and decide to use JPA.

Now you have a persistent problem.

You have a problem and decide to use crowd sourcing.

Now it's their problem.

You have a problem and decide to use Scala.

Now you have problem traits.

You have a problem and decide to use Prolog.

Now there exists a person that has at least one problem.

You have a problem and decide to use static code verification.

Now you can prove that you have a problem.

You have a problem and decide to use SQL.

Now you have two problems but you can join them.

You have a problem and decide to use -Wall.

Now you have a problem and 21 warnings.

You have a problem and decide to use Visual Basic.

Now you resume next.

You have a problem and decide to use Visual C++.

Now you have a ?Problem@@YAXHD@Z.

You have a problem and decide to use Splash.

But nothing happened.

You have a problem and decide to use ZSH.

Now you have a pro<TAB>

You have a problem and decide to use LaTeX.

Now you have a problem, perhaps a missing \item.

You have a problem and decide to use Debian.

Now you have a problem, a problem-common and a problem-dev.

You have a problem and decide to use XML.

Now you have a <problem xmlns="http://problem-working-group.org/schemas/2015/problem">

You have a problem and decide to use Ada.

Now you have a rendezvous with your problem.

You have a problem and decide to use PHP.

Now you have a problemsolve(). Or a problem_solve(). Or a problem_real_solve(). You're not sure.

You have a problem and decide to use CoffeeScript.

Now you've had a problem before it was cool.

You have a problem and decide to use C++ metaprogramming.

Now you have a partial problem specialization.

You have a problem and decide to post it on StackOverflow.

Now you have a favorite problem.

You have a problem and decide to use Perl.

Now you have a comprehensive problem archive network.

You have a problem and decide to use tips at startup.

Did you know that you have a problem?